Dragons universe

We were selected to have a dragons universe party. My two oldest boys were very excited about this. Unforunately it only ended up being a couple kids over but they all had a great time. We didn't open the toys prior to them coming over but rather put them together with everyone. It was quite amusing to see the dads working on this project. I would post pictures of them putting them together however the camera that had the pictures on it is temporarily ( hopefully) missing at the moment.

So on to a review on them. The boys loved them of course. Mommy had a fun time watching them put it together. I really think these teach them how to focus. Granted it isn't fun when the one year old grabs ahold of pieces but watching my two oldest sons focus on the directions.

My sons have a hard time focusing on other toys for a period of time unless it's a video game. This really was a pleasant change for them.

Dragons universe is a great gift idea to keep them busy and I'm including the dad in that one!!!

Gamestop Christmas list!

1. What is your holiday wish for your family?
I really want to get my boys the kinect! They love the wii and the kinect uses their body so they would be active and moving around but still playing their games so shhh mommy likes this idea but they don't need to know that.
2. What is your Christmas morning tradition?
So far our kids haven't done the typical run into mommy and daddys room and yell Santa came. But nonetheless they are wide awake in their new pjs that were opened the night before!
3. If you could ask Santa for one, completely decadent wish for yourself, what would it be?
Actually I want the Zumba game and Zumba DVDs and a pair of shape up shoes
4. How do you make the holidays special without spending any money? I just like to see the family Together and smiling. So that usually means playing video games.

5. What games did you play with your family growing up?
Super Mario! Zelda! Sonic! Among other games of course.
6. What holiday tradition have you carried on from your own childhood?The Pjs! My mom still buys my sister and I Pjs and I do the same for my fAmily.


7. Where would you go for a Christmas-away-from-home trip? We usually travel for the holidays so yeah I would like to stay home this year!

8. Check out GameStop (link to: http://bit.ly/gamestop10) and tell us, what are the three top items on your GameStop Wish List this year? I'd like to get my husband the ps3. And my oldest son Dsi As he really wants one!And then something for my middle son!

Zhu zhu pet tour!

Yesterday i was invited out to seethe zhu zhu pets tour.since it was during the day during the week,I only had my two youngest children with me. Now my little girl doesn't quite have the alertness to enjoy the fun activities out there. But my one year old sure
Did. First my little man had to check out the hamster habitat. At first he was a bit shy in walking all the way through it but then he saw me at the end and went through no problem and then of course several times after that.
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Then they mentioned have his picture taken and find out what hamster he is. They had several questions which I answered for him to the best of my ability ( one year olds do listen to the same music as mommy and daddy). And then it tells which hamster you are. I believe my son was Rex. Of Course what would be a zhu zhu pet Tour without getting to play with them. So of course they had both the Kung zhu pets and the zhu zhu pets at two different tables. My little man chose to play with the Kung zhu of course.

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When I was finally able to pull him away from that area he got to do the battle training just like the Kung zhu pets have. Of course at one he had to have a little help.

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So I had to check how long they would be out there at the toys r us and unfortunately only yesterday. But great news!they will be at the grapefest this weekend and you will get the chance to check out all of the cool stuff and get to do the zhu zhu flo dance! We will head out there tomorrow and my older boys will get the chance to be Kung zhu warriors as well. can't wait to see them have fun!!

what makes you think you can take on a task

The last week and a half have been crazy. School started and so did my social life. My social life has never consisted of girl talk and girl events. In fact surprisingly I had just thrown my first baby shower ever. I had fun doing it however it is not my normal social life. The last week and a half, my social life has been all about PTA!
Today, I spent the entire day with obvious round up and feed kids moments, working on planning the first set of programs. Only to find out later the email I sent off, may just get shot down completely. I also supported my husband in his back to school evening. Got him dinner and got his notebook to him. I totallY meant to put an encouraging note in there, (sorry ) but I totally blanked when I was on the phone!
I know things won't stay this busy forever. Although it would get pretty full if I add on a Second PTA! And this one, would be just starting out, so it would need alot of attention.
I have two more kids who may attend that school and everything I do for this stuff I do it so it will benefit my child as well as the other students.
I am crazy I know, I mean come on I Was brave enough to have four kids.

I am depressed or just plain crazy? Ppd or ptls?

I have always wanted to be a working mom. Although my idea of a job would be one that would allow me to still be there for my kids all day and for school functions. So Being my own boss
right. I like to be busy just not busy doing housework. I know we always want what we don't have. Just as they say someone who has straght hair wants curly and someone who has curly hair wants straight. But feeling as if you are doing something productive
really makes a huge difference to me. No matter how well I keep my house cleaned up and mess free my kids will make a mess in the room they are in. It is a never ending battle. It is also a big reason why I have been so stressed out lately. I have had more break downs In the last month than I have had in any of my four pregnancies where we know crying for no reason has it's reasons. But why am I crying and going crazy losing my patients and getting angry so easily lately. I have thought post partum depression which I was worried that it would happen this time around. I don't like the idea of pills but honestly I don't even know where to start. I hate myself. I know I'm depressed lately but I don't know if it's because of my situation or the hormonal changes that happened a fourth time around. I have been told it's spiritual but I can't even remotely agree that it's what's wrong with me. I have yelled at my kids so many times for things yeah it would upset you but it wouldn't necessarily set me off on a go to bed now kick. I have also noticed my kids have really distanced themselves from me.

Las night though I did a little more research regarding post tubal ligation syndrome. While pregnant with my daughter I had come across the information about it which did make me question should I get a tubal or should I wait to get an essure or something along those lines. During the last 4 months I have probably taken almost as many tests as I had when I was trying to get pregnant with my third child. I don't know why I have been scared of getting pregnant again despite having my tubes tied but I have been. I have had lots of "symptoms". Including terrible back pain which I have never had back pain except for durng pregnancy. I am overall able to withstand alot of pain than some. So I would believe that when someone hears me talk about my back hurting it must be bad. I am exhausted for no reason. My daughter sleeps through the night. I have had to just Go and lay down several times. I recall one that there was no way I could stay awake. Which
is not a good thing when you have four kids at home to take care of. I need to know what is wrong with me.
Last

Do you hear God?

This is a huge touchy subject for me. I still don't understand it when someone says God told them to do something. So to hear pray about it and see what God tells you to do is a very har reach. I certainly can't hear someone speak and signs, are very hard to understand. I usually joke that, this happened so it's a sign I shouldn't do it. On Saturday I was talking to my mother and discussing business ideas. I started my associates at a community college in my hometown and had plans to start off as a paralegal and then pay my way through to law school. Well I'm turning 27( I checked) in a few days and I can't even get back to the point of getting my associates. I keep looking back and feeling like it was a waste of time to
do all of the classes. Taking college courses is hard to do with four kids. Sadly I want to be super mom and get work and still have the ability to be able to be room mom and do all the field trips and parties for my kids. I want the best of working moms world and
stay at home moms world.


So I beleieve the only way to acheieve this is by starting my own business. I was telling my mother about the ad I had seen on craigslist about selling their consignment shop inventory. Basically they already have the shop up and open and they probably want to sell it all to move. This is exactly something I could see myself doing. A
childrens consignment shop. Of course I would need help but who better to help than my own mother. She would get the same. She would get to "work" but also get to be with her grand kids.

Another business idea I have is party planning. I am working on baby showering I am helping to host in August. Let me just say I am having a ball coming up with ideas. I would write
more about the ideas In this blog except the guest of honor has read my blog and I really want it to be a surprise. I am even hand making her invitations as soon as I get the rest of the information I need. I chose to hand make them because I did not find these anywhere else so far.
I don't even know where to begin with a party planning business. Not to mention I think it would have to be something I would need to do with someone else because I brainstorm with my sister or even my husband. My husband helped me out with the invitation idea for the baby shower. These are "jobs" I could see myself doing and keeping up with life itself. My life is already crazy with four kids.

so I have been told to pray about it and see what God says I should do. There was a time when my husband kept telling me I'm supposed to work in the nursery at the church. This was back at a time where I wanted my husband to leave the church. I am working in the nursery one Sunday a month and I'm doing it to help out. They are short nursery workers now. I'm usually in the nursery anyway because of nursing my daughter. Which I did gracefully ( and you could not see anything) yesterday whole wearing her in a new carrier I received from the latest MetroMom event I attended. But I do not "hear" from God and personally I think if I had I would be a bit freaked out by it. It is obviously just me because my husband has said he has been told to so things.
So the point is where do I begin?

Fitness! It does a body good

I feel over weight! I probably am. I have had four kids all born by c-section. And all in the past 7 years. I just had my last child almost 3 months ago. when I started out my prEgnancy I had not lost much in the way of weight since having my third child so I did not gain much weight with her. However 3 months have passed and I don't think I have lost more than 10 pounds. So I am planning to start a new journey that may help other moms.

After I had my third son, before I was pregnant with my daughter, I joined the YMCA. For the first couple of weeks I went. After those first couple of weeks it became a chore to lug all the kids to the YMCA. Then I found out I was pregnant, and surely I couldn't keep it up. So needless to say eventually i cancelled our membership. Now I am being realistic. It is hard rounding up my kids To to a gym. Personally I find picking up my youngest two kids a work out itself. But that work out is not helping in thr areas I would like.

I need a routine that I can work on at home. My new motivation to keep anything going. My readers! I want to start blogging each day ( don't worry othertopics
will be on as well.

After each work out I do I am going to use my downtime to write about it. If anyone has tips or could help me in with what I am doing wron g please feel free to post. Tomorrow will start day 1.

25 has come and gone.

So my birthday is coming up, and surprisingly my oldest son knew that its next week, down to what day it is next week. (Top that one hubby) and (thanks Grammy). So I was thinking about it today. I have actually mistaken my age several times, and I've had to look to my husband to remind me which number I am, (or turning in this case). I have caught myself doing this a few times already and I am turning 27, and yes I asked my husband to be sure.

I believe once I had turned 25 I started forgetting my age. I mean what exactly do you have to lo
k forward to after 25. 18 is you're legal. 21 means you can drink, and 25 is the insurance break they finally deem you mature enough to get. So what is after 25?

I figure that is my story, and I'm going to stick to it.

Here's to another year of forgetting my age!!
Oh and Happy 28th is it? to my wonderful Husband who will turn 28 the week after I turn 27.

NGR Workout Shoes Giveaway

While I can't personally give a review on these shoes, here's a great review from another busy mom, plus a giveaway! I know I could use a pair, there is no time for the gym in this house hold with four kids!

http://www.shopwithmemama.com/blog/entry/718671/ngr-no-gym-required-shoes-review-giveaway

Handmade party Supplies Giveaway

Over at The frugal homeschooling mom She has a give away for handmade party supplies. Ends today! Go enter!

Kung zhu pets review and giveaway

Give away Ended-Winner Saundra Post 3

Last Christmas you may recall the zhu zhu pets rage with our children. My kids were given several of them as of course it was the hottest toy. Sadly though it was my youngest son who enjoyed them the most. My oldest two played for a little while. It may be because we didn't get them the accesories though.
Just recently I recieved the new Kung Zhu pets. Now in this lots I was sent several accessories. To paint you a picture of how the evening started ( and continued) my oldest two nearly ripped all of thr boxes to get these toys out. My boys had already seen the commercials for the Kung Zhu pets. I believe for my boys the main attraction to the pets are because they battle. I'm sure one of thr biggest things that appeal to boys is anything that fights.
With the pets we recieved some accessories to go with it. The battle Center, and some shields and armor. They had a blast for that evening with these.

My boys are ages 6 1/2, 4 and 18 months old. My oldest was interested that evening, and played for hours before bed time. Longer than he does with some toys. He has gotten into the age of video games though, so toys don't appeal to him often, or for very long, despite how we now give him a time limit on television or movie watching and video game playing. He would never move from the couch if it was his choice. Now my 4 year old did continue to play with the toys, although it wasn't as much fun for him after his older brother stopped playing with them.
And of course my 18 month old has a ball pushing the button down and making them go. He gets giddy every time. He was also the one who enjoyed the regular zhu zhu pets.

Now my point of view on the Kung Zhu Pets. My boys have transformers, power rangers, and play swords and play guns. Now here's my take on these things. I tried to keep these type of toys away from my children, however it didn't take. I think my oldest son had a foam sword by the time he was 18 months old. And watched Power rangers by age 15 months. He was a early developer.

The Kung Zhu pets, are harmless in my opinion. The battling, is very much light and although it encourages fighting to a small degree. I'd prefer these over Transformers.
So in my book. They get an B +.

The Kung Zhu pets would be a great gift for a child around the ages 3 to 4 because there are small parts to the armor. I would think most kids over the age of 5 may find them a bit young for them depending on their interests of course. You can find these pets at Toys R Us.

Now you can win it for your son (or daughter). A great gift for a summer birthday.
One lucky mom or dad can win a Giant Battle Arena, two battle Hamsters, Two battle Armors, a ninja training ground and a missle attack tower. (approximate value $110)
To enter You MUST be a subscriber or a follower to my blog.
Leave a comment letting me know who you would like this for, and if you are a
subscriber or follower. All Entries must be received by July 1st 2010 12:00 noon.

Double stroller hunt

I have a not so full sized SUV. I also have four kids and all seats are filled literally. Unless my husband is not with us every seat in thr back is filled with a car seat. I have been on the hunt for the perfect double stroller to fit in the back of my car and maybe leave a little room for a bag to be kept in there. My youngest two children need a stroller but they need seperate things. My youngest needs to be in something that will either hold her carrier, or recline her as she's still very little. My second youngest, needs something that he can sit up in but yet he may need to recline some if he falls asleep. Oh and this has to fit in the back of an suv. This suv doesn't have the
nice dip in the back area which leaves alot of extra room for a stroller and so on. This is so much smaller.

Not everyone who has four kids can run out and buy a full sized suv. I know we can't, we had just gotten our Saturn outlook just a few month after our third was born and of course a few months before we found out we would have number four. The reason we moved from our minivan to an suv, well we needed a newer car, my husband really wanted an suv, so we got an suv. It's a nice car, just doesn't fit us very well. But we are making it work for us. We took a trip this last weekend for a family reunion on my husbands side. For this trip we took all four
kids, each one in a car seat. Four smaller bags, one for each child. A bag for my husband and I, this was also a bigger bag. Food items for our cabin that I picked up and packed.My husbands guitar and amp, a play pen, the fisher price rocker that folds almost flat, and our quinny zapp stroller. I did use a cargo bag which really didn't prove to do much for us. On the way there i managed to fit everything in my car with the exception of the playpen stroller and thr big bag on top of the car. Somehow the packing on the way home was a bit harder despite having less food to bring back, not to mention one less kid.
I have the ability to pack rather well when it comes to traveling, the military wife in me I assume.
I have only a few ideas on what stroller will fit the description. Some of you may say the Phil and Ted double would work. It doesn't work for us. Yes it does fit in the back with a little room to spare for diaper bag. To fully recline my daughter I have to place my son on top. Which isn't an issue until she gets a little bigger. See most strollers don't account for bigger babies. My boys are quite the chunks but so far, my daughter is still quite little, despite the ladies hovering ( and touching her foot ugh!) and telling me oh she's so big. My daughter is tiny! At a mere 11 pounds at 11 weeks, we are on a roll still wearing the size we were meant! 0 to 3. My boys, all of them in 3 months clothes and quickly moved up to 6 to 9 months shortly after. The Phil and Ted stroller was great when my youngest son was finally sitting up. Because my second and third son were and are so close in weight, they evened each other out in the stroller. My youngest son and my daughter will never even out each other, which leaves me only to put my daughter on the bottom seat (toddler seat). There is no recline . Now don't get me wrong thr Phil and Ted sport double is a great stroller, but so is the bumbleride and it is so bulky that it won't fit in the back. There needs to be a double stroller that has all the features but still be able to fit in those SUVs. Would someone with just two kids want to leave the back row laying flat just so they could fit a comfortable stroller for their kids?

The difference between girls and boys is not just in the parts

We are now approaching three months old with my little girl. She is amazing to me in so many ways. I see so many of my family memebers in her. I see my grandmother who passed away 10 months ago. August 12 th 2009. The day we were leaving to make the drive to see her for the very last time I found out my little maiya was on her way. I had no plans to have another child. I mean the last time I had seen my grandmother was thr January before just after my third was born. My daughter is an amazing add on to our family. We were lucky to have three boys even though while pregnant we had hoped for girls. But our life is supposed to have three boys. It was a daughter I thought I wasn't supposed to have. Now I love my boys dearly. All of them have been mamas boys and the youngest son still is very much so. I am comfortable with boys. I have learned how they think, those three sneaky little guys. I don't worry as much as I have when I first had them. I am not as paranoid about SIDS or them jumping off the playground ( no I just run to keep my youngest son from doin it as he is still little) but I don't have the same reaction. After three boys I am a pro at motherhood! A fourth shoukd be no problem then. Over the last two in a half months I have learned that I have been in a mindset tha is totally wrong! I am not a pro. I thought it would be easy having four. My life wouldn't be as hectic as everyone who would pass m and stop and say wow three boys and a fourth child on the way you will have your hands full. My thought then was a fourth boy a piece of cake. A side note for those who are just reading my blog for the first time, I really didn't believe them when they said girl). Adding a fourth boy was yes going to take up the rest of the room in my car but for the most part life would be easy peasy. I figured he would weigh closeto his brothers so the stroller issue I have wouldn't have been an issue. I thought well they would share everything so no worries about having another diaper bAg, I had a blue bassinet that would fit a larger baby as it fit my third son till nearly 9 months then he started sitting up in and it was time for the play pen to be moved into our room. I also thought well two and two in a room leaving the other room as my guest/ parents room and of course not overcrowding the older boys room. I'm not even sure how this is going to work when our bird comes out of the crib. He's not going to sleep Ina room on his own. And the older two, they won't be able to seperate either, they really are too close. But of course their room needs new drawers and Beds but I don't have a clue how to fit three In there without putting a bunk bed that I would have to worry about the youngest climbing up abd falling off of it. Having a girl changed all of those plans. Now The room that used to have my youngest sons crib in it is pink and green and holds a beautiful round crib just waiting for my daughter to start sleeping in it. Now please don't get me wrong rgarding how i was thinking I love this room. I had always dreamed and asked if this baby is a girl can we get a round crib. It was something I had always wanted for a little girl. We chose a four bedroom house because we were not planning two more kids but one more. We will be needing a bigger house in a few years along with some land for us as well. And that will come when the time is right. Having four boys wouldn't have been too different from having the three. But now three boys and one girl. I think I'm more exhausted. Not just because I have a newborn but because I can really wash all of their clothes together. Our washer and dryer have issues keeping up with the amount of laundry. My dream house will have the biggest laundry room ever with two washers and two dryers and enough room to have one basket for each child so all I have to do is sort and give them to them to put Away. Oh and having the boys learn to keep heir clean clothes in their drawers and dirty clothes off the floor and in the laundry baskets. A dream that has been crushed lately with them. But I will not give in and they will learn the lesson. Their clothes are no longer in their room. I have put my foot down. So yes it is so much different having a little girl and so many plans have changed. but I would not trade the order my kids were born in nor the fact that I have three handsome energetic sneaky little men ( who might I add will be taller than me probably by age 10) for any other number or order of kids. Despite my melt downs and believe me after you have realized leaving two older boys in the very back of the car pretty much without us being able to see what they brought in the car with them bc they are in the back you realize they have ruined that car, and you get upset and I believe I'm entitled to be upset once in awhile. it was a task keeping the house clean with three kids and I was able to keep the car clean when I could reach to the back of my car because all seats weren't filled with a car seat. And having four kids will not change my mind about having my older children in five point harness seats or having my youngest son Still rearfacing so it could be easier for me. Yes it would be easier, but burying my child is not. And if your answer is it is unlikely to happen and you are probably right but those who have had it happen to them wouldn't agree either. my motto is I did not carry my babies for 9 months and have a csection to have each one of them for me to lose one of them because of something I could have possibly prevented. What works for one family may not work for another. So please do not take my preferences as yours are the wrong choice. These are parents decisions and the only thing I believe others can do is to give facts so each and every parent may make the decision for themselves. Over the last few months I have cotemplated moving my oldest to a seatbbelt booster so it would make more room
for a third seat in the back row. But my 6 year old can't seem to keepthe straps in place on his five pony harness car seat and he is well beyond the weight and age for the law but in my opinion he is not mature enough to sit correctly in a belt positioning booster seat. So he will stay in his seat until I feel he can. Even if it is afterthe law says they don't have to. Here in Texas the passed the law that a child underthe age of 8 is to sit In a booster seat no matter what. And if they are over 8 but under the height requirments they still have to. And if they are under 13 they must be in the backseat and no in the front. My children will probably not sit inthe front seat until they are well over the age. It Does bother me that i see kids sitting in the front seat and they are not old enough by law but yet cop drives right by and does nothing. I know these kids are not old enough bEcause they are in elementary school. This school sent home flyers on the new law but yet it does nothing or means nothing to parents here.

Twitter Parties

Ok, I personally can't get the hang of these twitter parties, i haven't quite gotten the hang of twitter honestly.
But I do want to give a heads up to those who are entering these parties and blog contests.
Make sure your names MATCH!

I missed out on the Phil and Teds Smart stroller, because I spelled my twitter name wrong,and had won the stroller through the posting on the blog comments. She posted my Blogger name but that of course didnt match my twitter name, and with that said, I had also misspelled my twitter name. Really I don't write my twitter name that often, and things have all sorts of different requirements.

While I was pretty bummed about the stroller, I'm now aware of what I did wrong, and will be making a new twitter name just to fix this issue in the event it ever happens again.
When I saw my name posted, I was so excited because the Smart Stroller looks so awesome, and I had always wanted a stroller that had the bassinet for my little ones, but of course. I only have so long left with one of those strollers. My baby girl will be 7 weeks old tomorrow.

So keep this advice, make sure your names all match, just so there is no mistaking it.

I just want to see good things happen to good people!

My title really explains my entire rant this morning.
Why is it that people who make choices to hurt people, on purpose, seeks out to take advantage and such, get everything handed to them but those who work hard, and are genuinely good people, get nothing. I watched this happen when my husband was in the Navy, people skate by, buy my husband, who worked hard, had a much harder time. Thankfully, the worst that could have happened, never did happen, but it doesn't mean it was an easy ride for him. The events that did happen were the biggest reason I was happy to be done being military. That and the fact that my husband could have been sent on more than just a 6 month deployment.
I just want to see good things happen to those who deserve those good things. I'm tired of seeing the latter.

Advertising directly to our children

It amazes me how advertisers find ways to advertise services and products. Yesterday my son came home from school, and immediately told me that he wanted to do gymnastics classes. In his folder was a flyer for it. Now this isn't the first advertising that has gone through this school. PTA has done it as well. And yes, I realize I am on the board. Now the advertising we allowed, I wasn't exactly thrilled with. Now the gymnastics school, would have been a much better advertising in my opinion. What we did, was insurance, parents don't want to be pitched to about insurance.
However they did advertise it to them, it got him excited about something, but the school does not have an introductory class to offer, and I certainly am not enrolling a 6 year old who can't make up his mind on what he'd like to do through the summer a pay an arm and a leg for him to do this and hate it. So this school did lose our business and another school may get it in the event that it works out. I have all three of my boys signed up for a free introductory class next week at the Little Gym.
I'm excited to watch them, if anything to get an idea of what might interest them. I know my middle son really wants to do soccer, but sign ups have passed so he doesnt get to do it until Fall.

I am still looking into swim lessons for them as well. I'm almost afraid to put them in lessons just because I think they'll forget it all after. My oldest had swimming down when he was 18 months old. We swam nearly everyday the spring/summer of 05, well until Katrina hit. He used to jump in with (no floaties) although we made him wear it. I was actually able to swim without having a child clinging to me.
Now that is one thing he is always excited about, swimming.
But its just a matter of if he'd like to actually go further than just learning how to swim (again).

What do you do for the summer? I have gotten so used to the oldest two going to school, it will be a little odd not to have to take them and drop them off at school.

Pirate party!

In just over a week my middle son will turn 4! Hopefully with the new age comes a new attitude as well. We are having his birthday party on the actual day and he chose to do a pirate theme. I have been working on this party for nearly two months coming up with ideas for it. I beleieve I have everything at this point. We will have a treasure hunt. And we will do a craft with the swords which each kiddo will get to take home. I was planning to make thr loot bags out of fabric to resemble thr loot sacks however I still can't find thr bobbin cover for my machine so I can't make them. I am planning to make snacks for yhe party. And I am hoping my sister will Be able to help me with thr cake. She made my oldest sons last year. I found a Melissa and Doug treasure chest which will be what I will hide the beads and treasure in. Living in New Orleans came in handy this year I will be filling the box with everything from there. I also found pirate telescopes from Oriental trading. I will make a pirate punch and I am hoping I can get some big boxes like fridge boxes so I can make a cardboard ship out of it. Overall I hope my son has a great fourth birthday. Aside from adult birthdays my next one is my oldest sons party. I am already trying to figure out what i can use for his party. His will be a mad scientist party and again I hope my sister can come help as she is better at these experiments than I am. He will be in 1st grAde and Im hoping maybe it might help him enjoy school a little more if he sees how much fun he caN have learning. Then we have littlest mans birthday and he will turn two. For his 1st birthday I did a winter wonderland theme. And then little miss willturn one! Wow I hope thr year goes by quick!

Old habits die hard!

Life is getting back to a sense of normalcy. Having for children has changed it especially when it comes to how tired I am and how quickly that it comes out. Life was doing ok while I was pregnant well as ok as it could be with all of my complaining about still being pregnant. Four kids is alot. But really life is only as easy as your kids make it for you. Right now my two oldest sons are in a phase. Not the leave me alone I'm goingto be in my room listening to depressing music or talking on the phone with a girl I like. Believe me I welcome those phases at this point. Instead at the ripe youngag of 6 in a half my oldest son is telling us he wants to be adopted by someone else. This was something my son who I really feel is to old for his actual age, has said things like this since he was two! Yes I specifically rmember one day when we were visiting my parents he told me in the car by walgreens on the corner of southside blvd and Atlantic that he wanted new parents! Ugh! He didn't even have a brother at this age! I don't even think I was pregnant with my second son yet. It's really hard to get through to him. He also hates going to school and he is in kindergarten. Isn't there something wrong with that one!?

And then we have the second oldest, he is in that phase where he is whining, and lying when he does things like pooping in his pants on accident. Plus he tells us his brother bit him but he didn't. Life is just easy peasy! We won't get into the last two who still need mommy constantly.
And then there's me. I feel like everything is rushing back. I am starting to think about the past all over again. I feel like I'm redoing alot of those things. And no matter how hard I try to break away from thr same old habits. They creep right back in. I feel like I keep shutting down and there isn't anyone to talk to. I've had a hard time explaining how I've been feeling to my husband. Overall I feel exhausted again. I would like to blame it on post partum depression but I don't think it's that. I think it's just old habits coming back. I mean seriously could I have been having post partum depression for the last ten years? I am even having trouble explaining my feelings on Here. I know some of it has to be from the fact that I have four little ones to start but I have always been proud of how icould handle my children. And now I doubt myself as a mom sometimes. I don't believe I'm super woman but I always believed that my strength to keep them all safe and sound came from my love for them. I don't love them any less than I ever had before. In fact I think it's the opposite that I added another little one to love and protect with everything I have.

I also have this hope of my family moving closer to us. I miss having them around. I miss having someone to go to the mall with even if I don't buy clothes. I miss having my mom around to talk to. To talk about my dreams with. I haven't even thought about my" dreams"

What are you doing this summer?

For us, we don't have anything planned just yet. I'm looking into things to take the boys to, and of course my little girl will be tagging along for the fun ride. We missed all the sports sign ups for the oldest two, and so I think it would be a great idea to post these camps as they're still accepting registration for the camps.
Now this is copied word for word, as I don't personally have any experience with these camps so I can't give any personal insight on it. I think the CampAsia sounds awesome. I would love for my oldest son to learn about Asian culture, and the cuisine would be great for him, he LOVES Chinese food. But I am a quarter Japanese, so that could have something to do with it.
if you never met children who eat Sushi, you must come to our house when we have it. My husband and I specifically hide getting Sushi from our kids just so we don't have to share every single time. Too bad they can smell it from a mile away it seems. So don't forget to get ready for the summer keeping busy. I know if I don't plan something, mine will want to watch tv all day!


The Crow Collection of Asian Art presents

CAMPASIA: SUMMER CAMP FOR KIDS
Discover the arts of Asia this summer at the Crow Collection! Learn about yoga, performance, cuisine and culture across China, India and Japan; grab a sleeping bag for the first-ever Saturday night sleepover

Weekday Camps in June and July plus NEW CampAsia Overnight in July

REGISTRATION ENDS TUESDAY, JUNE 1!
To register, please contact education@crowcollection.org or call 214-979-6435.

The Crow Collection of Asian Art
2010 Flora Street, Dallas, TX 75201

Yogiños: Yoga for Youth (ages 6-12)
Monday, June 7 – Friday, June 11 (9 a.m. – 4 p.m.)
Yogiños: Yoga for Youth is an “OHMazing” trilingual yoga camp facilitated in English, Spanish and Sanskrit that uses music, games, stories and sensory-integrated activities to align minds, bodies and hearts on and off the yoga mat. Join Elizabeth Reese, founder of Yogiños, to discover the history and practice of yoga throughout Asia. Learn fun yoga moves, create recipes for healthy snacks, and make yoga-inspired works of art.

Dancing with Dragons: Performance Across Asia (ages 8-10)
Monday, June 21 – Friday, June 25 (9 a.m. – 4 p.m.)
From Kabuki to Bollywood to Lion Dances, move to the tune of Asian beats and work with professional Asian musicians and performers. Learn about Asian dance, theater and musical performances while creating costumes and participating in live performances.

NEW! CampAsia Overnight: Spend the Night at the Crow (ages 6-12)
Saturday, July 10 (5 p.m. – 8 a.m.)
Little adventurers and their favorite adult can spend the night at the Crow Collection of Asian Art! Enjoy a sleepover in the Museum’s galleries featuring flashlight tours, storytelling, art activities, Asian games and much more.

Cooking for Kids: Foods of Asia (ages 6-8)
Monday, July 19 – Friday, July 23 (9 a.m. – 4 p.m.)
Little chefs will delight in making delicious dumplings and candy sushi! Learn to cook fun Asian treats with area chefs, and discover the traditions involved with each Asian delicacy. Create a recipe book, and enjoy a special parents’ lunch and tea ceremony.

Celebrate Asian Heritage: Families with Children from China (ages 6-12)
Monday, July 26 – Friday, July 30 (9 a.m. – 4 p.m.)
Celebrate the rich culture, traditions and arts of China through performances, cuisine and games. Make dragon boats, learn how to perform a dragon dance, and create a beautiful family scrapbook to share with loved ones.

CampAsia registration ends Tuesday, June 1. Cost is $300 per weekly camp for Friends of the Crow Collection and $350 for non-members. CampAsia Overnight is $125 per child for members and $150 per child for non-members. All camp fees include cost of supplies and snacks. Payment is due in full upon registration. No refunds.

To register and for more details, please contact education@crowcollection.org or call 214-979-6435.

Is having three really the same as having four?

My answer?

No, however it might be because I have three very energetic boys, and one sleepyheaded newbie. My toddler is very much in the "toddling" stage. Everything is his space, and anything is game for him. He hasn't understood my words "No, Danger" and laughs when I say it. The reaction is getting tiresome. How do you stop it, I know with other things its always don't give them the reaction and they will stop. Well, how on earth do you not give your 17 month old toddler a reaction to when they are about to jump off the playground equipment. And how do you keep him from doing this without losing your newborn in the process.
I can't possibly lose my little ones. I could carry her, but she's not quite fitting well into my carriers, so I've only used it once, she just wasn't comfortable in it, which I think has alot to do with how little she still is.

I couldn't push a stroller over to the spot where he was, so putting her in the stroller isn't an option. I'm at a loss for what to do with my active little man.

Other than that, my oldest son doing very well. This month he's had all greens and one purple at school. Next we have KB, who isn't doing so great. He's in that stage where he wants what he wants and if he doesnt get it, he wont listen or do what I tell him to do. Because of this, its turning into an issue with him possibly getting hurt or lost. Especially when we're out and about. It's hard to keep up with four kids, and mine have a tendency to get very stubborn, (and yes I know it comes from my husband lol, ok ok, and me) but nothing really works for KB, talking to him like a big kid, spankings,timeouts, nothing! It just doesn't work.

So anyone have any tips for how to make our kids listen. And as I've said before, whoever said three is the same as having four really did not have my kids!


On another note, I will have a blog review on the Quinny Zapp stroller, so stay tuned!

What is the ideal wife

Is she smart? Is she pretty? Is she opinionated? Will she argue when it's something she is passionate about? Or is it someone who would just sit by and let others make all the choices and decisions for her?

There was a time I believe that last statement was true. I don't agree that we live in that time anymore. Although I believe deep down men would like it to be that way.

Please don't judge

If I can be a story for anyone I hope it's the story of why you do not judge people. I am 26 years old and yes I have four kids. My first was born when I was 20 my second was born almost three years later. My third was born two in half years after him. I felt I was done at this point. After 3 csections that had no complications I wasn't exactly on board with chancing a fourth csection. Not to mention there were other things going on in my life. I felt three boys were all I would have! Maybe later when they were old enough I might be able to adopt, but that was a slim chance as well. I have been married to my husband for nearly 7 years. Our marriage is much better than it has ever been in those 6 years, but it didn't get better until about 4 in half months ago. In fact it was really bad just after I had my third son which was in dec 2008. Emotionally, everything was a huge mess. I really resented my life, the only things that were keeping me going were my three kids. But I was a total wreck! My husband and were fighting day in and day out. Throughout the years we had had several bit blowouts which always seemed to appear just after we had on of ours. Things always got better for the duration of the pregnancy but it always seemed it would get worse just after and of to add it would be a bigger blowout than the last big blow out. And after having my third it that's exactly where my head was. We had our biggest fight in feb just two months after he was born. And it hadn't really calmed down unless you count the events that happened and took focus away from our fighting but really it was still there. Then I found out I was pregnant. My third was just 7 months old sti very much my baby. The day I found out I cried. I freaked out and I felt like the worst mom ever! I had a positive pregnancy test and I hoped it was a false positive. I really felt like it was a bad joke. I was not in a position to have a fourth child, but there was no other choice if I was pregnant then I was having another baby. Then I had the thoughts about what was going to happen to my husband and I. Our fighting would become less I was sure during the pregnancy but it would pick back up after. Then there was if we just went ahead and divorced. I was alone and felt like I might lose my other kids too since I wouldn't be able to work ( nobody seems to hire pregnant ladies not to me tip. I hadn't worked in 5 years nobody was going to hire me because of when my last job was) so I will admit I did not want to be pregnant. I would cry about it I was so lost at the time. The pregnancy was overall very hard. Emotionally, and physically. I complained alot during my pregnancy. I think the only reason why my husband didn't lock me into a room when he was home was because I think he knew how hard it was for me. I know there Are women who can't have a baby, and I am really sorry if those had heard my complaints, but before you stop and judge someone who is pregnant, and complaining, walk away if it bothers you, because ultimately you have absoultely no idea what has happened to that person on why It is so hard for them.

I love my daughter she is a wonderful gift from my husband and I as my sister says my grandmothers last gift. She passed away two days before I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. We have completed our family now despite what we thought. I feel lucky to have my little girl and there is a big part of me that feels really horrible for how I felt during my prEgnancy and so in reality I don't need anyone to make comments about how much I complained during my pregnancy.

So please before you comment stop and think because what I have written in this blog doesn't even hit half of the things that happenEd during the last 8 years of my life.

Feeling like a failure for a mom.

I am having a little bit of a hard time coping with the fact that I am supplementing my daughter. Just over 16 months ago I had my third son. The pregnancy was uneventful for the most part and his birth and my recovery was fine. He started nursing just after I was rolled into recovery and from then on latch and everything was perfect my milk was in quickly and although he ate often he would get satisfied with what I was making ( even though I felt like it wasn't enough at first). While I was pregnant with him and believing he was my last baby I was determined that I was breastfeed him for a year at least. I tried pumping with him to increase my milk supply and it never went well even with a brand new pump. 7 months after I had him on August 14 th 2009 I found out I was pregnant again. I had no plans of weaning my youngest son until the dr I was seeing kept pushng that I really needed to wean him because it was too much stress on my body. I gave my dream up of making it to a year. Two months after he was fully weaned. When maiya was born she was 9 lbs and had low blood sugar. Just like Konnor did. I nursed her for a good bit and they checked her sugar and what I had was not enough to help her. I went ahead and agreed to formula from the start. So far she has had one bottle each day and I'm not sure if me breastfeeding is doing anything for her because she still hasn't gained her birth weight back. I'm just a little sad that That I had the chance to reach a year finally and didn't and now it looks like I won't really make it to. 1 month. I'm just not making much in the way of milk. I started the lactation helping pills ( I don't remember the name of them ) but so far they aren't doing much. Not to mention I have a little trouble swallowing pills so taking them is hard enough. I have increased my water intake nothing. So here I am laying next to my daughter which I have nursed off and on for the last two hours until I finally gave in and made a bottle. She took nearly 3 oz this time which is more than what she usually is taking but she's fast asleep next to me. Well at least she's stopped fussin at me.

How I survived my csections

I Now have four kids. Three boys and one girl. when I married my husband we were actually pregnant with our first child Jordan. He will be 7 this year. I did not labor with him I actually had a scheduled csection just two days beforr my due date. I really have no idea If I can have my babies naturally. The only thing I know is that I have had four csections and each one I have shortened my recovery time in the hospital. With my first I was out on the third day by the afternoon. Probably the normal time frame now for csections. My second son i would have been out earlier than the first only they took forever to do the circumcision. My third son I was out exactly 36 hours after he was born. My dr wouldn't let me go home before then. This last one, my girl, I left at 31 hours after I had her. I dislike being in the hospital. I don't care for doctors apointments for that matter. For all four of my kids I refused to take pain medication, well narcotics is what I refused. Tyenol is what I chose instead. Would you like to know my secret?

Sadly there isn't a huge secret to it. With the first two I pushed through the pain. My dislike for hospitals really helped there. Other than. Nurse giving me a dose of narcotics which I did Not want nor did I ask for it and after I found out she hit the button my iv mysteriously fell out and i did not let them put it back in. Then with my third son, I was very determined to do things more natural. We had a holistic pediatrician and delayed shots and other than having a csection I wanted every aspectnof his birth natural which meant mommy did not take pain meds that would pass over to him. So I tuned out the pain and got up as soon as the spinal wore off. I never masked the pain with medicine so I could know my limits. Which mine are probably higher than most as I really do have a high pain tolerance. This last csection was really that much easier. I do believe a huge part of it is he doctor that delievered her which was another story in itself but we were really lucky and blessed with my new ob who delievered our little girl just 6 days after I met her for the first time. I am choosing not to go into details of why I had a new doctor so late in the game but I just know it was meant to be an we were Lucky despite the stress of not having a doctor for a few days. I went home in 31 hours with my sweet little girl and at ten days old we are both great. While I am still not able to lift my youngest son because my incision is not all the way closed. I have not had any pain and have not taken any pain medication this last time around. I felt great once I started walkjng after I had her. From there it was almost as if I had her naturally. I have had many Nurses tell me ini could have my kids naturally I would have been onenof those who ha no pain medications. I don't know what full blown labor is like, I don't know what contractions really feel like as I never really felt any. When I had my last little one I was on their monitors and supposedly having contractions however I never felt them. Either way I am done now. We have ended our baby making days for good which is feels alot better than I thought it would. I was afraid to do it for good whenni had my third. Which led to our suprise fourth. But now knowing that I will not have any more i feel like I can concentrate on my four kids. I am blessed to have a housefull and very proud.


One of my new favorite things when I have had anyone stop and admire our little girl, the comment of "is this your first baby?" our reply "nope, we have three more at home and boys too"


The look on their face makes having four kids sooooooo much fun. I never thought I woul have so many kids of my own, but I have never felt that a person who chooses to have a large family is bad it is a to each their own, and for us four kids suit us just perfect.

How does it feel to be a mom to three boys and one girl!

It is strange.....
I must admit I still questioned even once she was out if I had a little girl. Nobody had actually said girl or boy only that it was a big one as they were taking her out. I had my first and only little girl and she is so much differnt than having a boy. It is amazing how I was so paranoid that my other children would have any issues with a fourth child and a girl at that. But they have all adjusted rather well To her. In fact everyone wants to hold her even the 16 month old. I love having my little girl but I can't help but be a little jealous to th fact that I was one of a kind in this household. The only
girl. But I wouldn't trade any of my kids at all. My husband has been amazing. My rcovery from my csection has been so much easier the biggest downfall is that this time around I have another baby ( the 16 moth old) who would still need to be lifted etc and that has Ben the main thing I can't get back I to doing just yet. If I could lift him to put him in his seat etc I would not have to have help. Sadly took miss holding my little man. As much as it's wonderful to have a newbie again I do miss holding my other kidstoo. Hopefully in he next few days I c. Write about my csection as I Seem to be geting lots of compliments and how do you do Its with getting out of the hospital so quickly and without taking narcotics the entire time. So stay tuned for that one.

Alvin and the Chipmunks soundtrack

Here is a great product description of the soundtrack.

The Squeakquel Movie Soundtrack is great entertainment for both kids and parents.  Featuring chipmunk'd renditions of classics from Beyonce, Katy Perry, the Bee Gees and many more, Alvin, Simon, Theodore and their girlfriends, The Chipettes, provide hours of fun for everyone.

I recently downloaded the cd to their little mp3 players and they have started to learn the words to the songs. Even my three year old. I think the best part about all of it is they started to do their  "break dancing" routines again. They hadn't tried break dancing in awhile.
This is a great CD so much fun for the whole family.
You can get your own copy of the cd here. 

It could make a really great Easter Basket gift!

Fisher Price Newborn Rock N' play sleeper

Life has been so busy the last month, but now its time to get this review up. The Fisher Price Newborn Rock N' Play Sleeper is just awesome and a must have for every new or second time parent (or fourth in my case)
I have three boys already, and let me tell you when I had Logan my third son, we went through exactly what we went through with the first two boys, RSV. Logan ended up in the hospital for a few hours, and then we went home. I wish I had this then! The main reason is because it elevates the babies head, which would have been great and I wouldn't have had to cuddle him through the night, barely sleeping because I was worried I might not hold his head up enough. He was the worst of the RSVers and we hope we don't have to go through it with Maiya, but if we do, we're covered with how we will lay her for sleeping.
It is super easy to put together which is a plus because other baby gear I've had its almost like they parent proof things too.  This makes its a much nicer gift to give as well! I would give this as a baby shower gift just so the parents won't have to struggle to put it together, so this is something to keep in mind if you're looking for a great baby shower gift!
We have a very tall bed, as we have one of the thicker mattresses, so the height next to the bed isnt very good for me. Especially after a Csection. So it has not taken the place of our bassinet for everyday use.
However, we are known to travel, and with four kids now, we have no room for one playpen in our car let alone having two play pens in our car. We will be taking our first trip with all four kids to a reunion in June. This will work perfect for Maiya to sleep in and it won't take up hardly any room in our car, which is great, because we have a Saturn Outlook and 4 kids, and there really is a car seat in every available seat in the back. Between our bags, which are a tight fit, our stroller, which is in the back and takes up every possible space in the back. We're not sure exactly how we will do the trip, but its a load off my shoulders knowing I don't have to attempt to pack two play pens and this can fold up and be placed in the car with no problem.


Overall I love it! For the retail price of 49.99 this is well worth the investment! I do wish it could be used past 25 pounds, as my babies tend to get big pretty quick. We'll see what happens with Maiya but my three boys, wouldn't have made it past 2 months max using it because of how big they were.
Maiya isn't as big and a girl, so we'll see!

I would love to see this in other colors though, and maybe even a vibrate feature, but overall it does the trick, which is wonderful for so many different situations!


One flaw I have with this, is that you really need two! One to leave at home, and one to leave in the car!!  Fisher-Price should sell them in a two pack because this can be used literally anywhere, and we all know we end up somewhere and need a place to lay the baby down so you can just have even a few minutes of free hands.
Because you never know when you might get off track and need it, and you didn't bring it! I'm known for that!!!

Alvin and the Chipmunks The Squeakquel CD Soundtrack review

This morning I decided to get the kids up and going with the new Soundtrack to Alvin and the Chipmunks. So after getting them dressed and downstairs to get breakfast on the table, I played the CD. Immediately my oldest and my youngest son began to dance. The other one was still getting his shoes on when I first started the CD. So I ended up getting breakfast on the table. Nothing exciting, just cereal. After getting it to the table, it took a little longer to get them to the table. They continued to dance.
I took video of them too on my phone since my camera isn't charged, so I can't upload it to the blog, but I will be uploading to my Facebook.

So I of course had to ask my kids, whats your favorite song on the CD. I had a feeling which one they would choose, it just so happens to be a ringtone on my phone!
You Sping Me Round was their favorite. I don't know how many times they would ask me to let my phone ring when someone would call, instead of just not answering it.

They weren't as excited with the Chippettes songs, but I believe thats due to them being boys. However, I did catch them dancing to Put a ring on it. And I think my oldest was actually trying to do the "dance".


This is a great CD for kids, not just because its Alvin and the Chipmunks. My husband and I both grew up with Alvin and the Chipmunks, and for me, its awesome to see the comeback they have been able to do. We have seen both movies and it was a great family movie for us, since we were interested in seeing it too. Unlike some of the other kids movies!

If you enjoyed the movie, a great way to continue enjoying it is to get the CD for you and your kids! I say you and your kids, because you know those chipper chipmunk voices are catchy!

Money doesn't grow on trees.

So right now There are alot of questions I have. Alot that doesn't make sense and I'm hoping someone can give insight. Today in service I became quite confused with the message. Some things yes I understood however there is still some that I'm very confused with. What I gathered from the message today was pretty cut and dry you shouldn't spend money that you don't have. That's pretty simple and well versed throughout life yes. But if you don't have money to spend on things you want let alone sometimes on the things you need but yet you should still tithe away. If I have five dollars and i want o put gas in my car, but I still should tithe do I give that five dollars to God? Or as the example today if a person wants to go to church on Sundays but becomes unable to because they have work or maybe they have no car they are not really wanting to be there then? Maybe I didn't understand the message but I really felt like I was hearing that they should quit their job to attend church so that then god would find them a job that they would not have to work on Sundays and woul be able to attnd church? I asked my husband about this par of the message today and He told me that was not what was said or meant. Then what is what I am asking?
To me saving that five dollars and waiting to tithe means thinking in reality because it's said god does not answer all prayers with the answer you want each time so shouldn't you be smart about it then!? I am having such a hard time with alot of this today.

Not very happy right now

So this week has been a real bust in my opinion. I haven't been so motivated for anything, well except for complaining. I know I should act a little better but this week really just was a bad week. I haven't written any blogs lately not bcause I haven't been able to but rather because I have just been emotionally and physically exhausted. Last week almost everyone in the house was down and out for at some point with the stomach bug, myself included. We haven't quite fully gotten over the bug even still today. Last night I was up from 12 till 3 am because of it and just bEcause I wasn't able to sleep which is another issue in itself. The last few days though have been especially hard a teething baby, mommy had no comfort or sympathy for him and the screaming. I have just been completely on edge. I have a huge issue with someone telling me what I should do or have to do In this matter, and today is one of those days. I am usually supposed to be at my sons school helping but instead I'm here at my drs office sitting around doing nothing but blogging because they were going to hassle me to do the 3 hour test which I know I will pass With no issues. If I had gestational diabetes I woul have seen so emind of symptom prior to this. If anything I would be gaining
weight at least like I usually did in pregnancy. I haven't even gained ten pound with this baby. By this time in the pregnancy I have usually already gained 20 pounds at least. So needless to say I'm confident in knowing my own body and hoe it takes things. In fact Ive learned by doing my own research that the information given to me by my doctor seems to always be a scare tactic. She really pushed the flu shot and even undermined or dismissEd thE fact that my husband and I both stated that I have done flu shots before and I have always gotten the flu, other than those two times I have never had the flu nor have I had the flu shot either. The last time I had it was when I had just had Konnor and I got the flu shot based on the recommendation that I get it so Konnor would get the antibodies from my milk. Other than that I have never been so I'll with anything other than a stomach virus which I have noticed I've gotten every single pregnancy at some point. But again every appointment she pushed numbers and stastics down my throat. She has also done nothing but tell me things that are al ost next to never going to happen. Big example the uterine rupture. I have. 1% chance that I may have that happen and in the sEnse of it she was right as per research if it's Gunnar happen it's Gunnar happen labor csections etc or not. Why try to scare me into things? So now here I am 30 someething weeeks along I know if I mention how the dates must be off she won't listen so i'm not going to mention it. If labor occurs naturally great! Maybe I'll get lucky and be able to have a natural birth. I am contemplating switching docs as I just have gotten to the point I don't trust her and I since this is it for sure I want my last experince to go well and exactly how I would want things to be. I have no plans being in the hospital for more than on night. I know the ped will release my baby quickly and it will be a matter of my doctor releasing me. So again I feel this morning is just being wasted because we all know I won't get any work done this afternoon.

Why Is It harder to talk face to face than through email/ text etc

I have always had thus issue even when it comes to my husband my family friends pretty much anyone. I have a hard time talking out loud anymore. I can only assume this comes from five years of really never leaving my house. Prior to the last year the only times I really left my house were to go to the grocery store or take my kids to school. Thus last year I branched out and started going to moms groups however I still have that issue about talking to others. I don't even like being on the phone anymore. I have seriously become a hermit crab it seems. This weekend was busy and as I think back way too emotional for me. But I made it through the weekend. I am having a little issue with how things are going with my husband though. But it really isn't him that's the cause of it. I may have turned things around for me but there's still a part of me that's doing it for him too. And so when I don't completely understand something or feel 100 percent on something I feel like I will disappoint him and kind of like you seek approval from your parents I think you also end up seeking approval from your spouse. After all a marriage is supposed to be 50/50 right!

I feel like we are back trAcking

Maybe it's because we haven't done counseling i don't know but I'm feeling a bit disturbed by it all. The last several nights he has been a bit on the depressed side. I know our backyard bothers him and it bothers me too, but he has been distant since bringing it up. Not much we can do at This time and I understood to give him space about it but he is also starting to seem upset with me. We got into a fight this morning and neither one of us has apologized to the other and it's already starting to seem like we are just setting the argument aside like it didn't happen which always resulted in us fighting more later. I know we will fight no matter what but it's how we argued that needed to change and as of this morning I feel like it's back to square on all over again. It's like the last month never took place.

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Better days

Today I am determined that today will be a great day. Last night we had dinner at a friends house and we had fun. We don't get invited out much. But of course for the longest time I don't think my husband really wanted to spend time with me either. But it's so much better. Yesterday I had a lot of emotions running through my head and while I can't lie and say they are still in the back of my mind through the advice of friends I have to push them out. I have to finally get to the point that I don't let it bother me any longer. Someone mentioned that I need to find a purpose for my life. I really have not figured that one out. Now I can't say that I have that part figured out because I don't have it figured out but my friends were right that I need to just set it out of my mind because it's not helping me move on. So today I stopped and gave my kids some extra kisses and told them how special they are to me. Since he wasn't quite awake this morning I want to say it again to my husband I love you and I'm working hard to see the future and not the past. I love you and thankyou for all that you do for us, for me!

On the same page!

Yes the title says it all.

Yesterday my husband had me read one of the chapters in the book he's been reading for the mens group he attends with the Pastor.
The author of this book summed exactly how I feel a marriage should be.
The easiest term I can sum it up (but seriously if I don't explain myself right read chapter 15 in Honors Reward by John Bevere, because he really does explain how I see marriage).
I can see especially right now, that my husband should be the spiritual head of the house. In a sense, the head of the house if you have to actually put a person first. However, in the actual marriage sense, I always see that marriage should be equal. My husband is not exactly better than me, and I'm not better than him. We just might be better at certain things. In the sense, a marriage should equal one. So my husband should make up 50 percent of the marriage, and I should make up the other 50 percent of the marriage. This would be why being married to more than one person (i'm really meaning at a time not you get divorce and meet someone else and get married and its bad) As much as I'd personally rather not get divorced or see people get divorced I do realize sometimes it ends up being for the better for all. I just personally don't want to end up in a divorce. PLus, I invested 6 years of marriage so far and then some on my husband. Who would want a 27 year old with 4 kids? For the longest time, I'd always felt my husband didnt respect me, or my opinions, and always had the mindset man rules, woman stays at home pregnant and cleans cooks etc.

Growing up, I did not think this was my role, nor had would I have conformed to it back then. Strangely, I've conformed to it more than I wanted to honestly. I had never actually thought about kids when I was a teenager. Being in love didn't matter to me, heck, having a boyfriend didn't exactly matter to me.
I thought more about what I would do with my future, than who was going to be in my future. So I conformed much more to the pregnant wife at home ideal than what I had ever had in my mind.
I like being independent, I like that I am my own person and that I specifically do not have to have others to make me happy. But after being married, I've learned that it doesn't work exactly like that.
I will admit, I've envied my friends from high school who have the, just in a relationship, no kids, no real tie downs. They've done the career first etc.
I wanted that. I wanted to live on my own for awhile, do my own thing, with and without a boyfriend. I lived on my own for a little while, however it wasn't what I meant by it. For so many reasons. I wanted a career, at one point, I had planned to enlist in the air force. Several things stopped me, but sometimes I can't help but stop and think, it would have been so much different had I of taken that step and made a different life for me.
My independence didn't last very long at all. I quickly became dependent on my husband after meeting him, and as much as I will say when I met him, I did NOT want to get into anything serious with him, and I was in denial all in the beginning.
Now I dont want to air out dirty details, but I think my husband can say this too, (he's so much different now and going back and thinking about this only makes me love him even more right now). But neither one of us were ready for the relationship we made in the beginning. Chris, one of our friends pointed it out early on. And I think we both were in denial, but he was very much right, we should have gone our seperate ways early on. Now, that doesn't mean we wouldnt have still ended up together, come on we've made it this far , just the hard way. What would have happened had we of not of jumped into dating and then ultimately getting pregnant that early. He was there for two years, we may have stayed friends, he may have gone on deployment and come back a different person, and I may have gone and become a different person, and then our life might have started, and the right way at that.

But we didn't start off like that, we started off with two totally different mindsets of a relationship. Heck my husband hadn't dated much, and me, well lets just say, no relationship lasted long enough to mean anything.

So where do we take it from here, after 4 kids, a very rocky marriage the last 6 years (almost 7) and yeah the last month has been great for both of us. But where do we go from here. In a sense we need to start over. But thats impossible, can't send the kids away long enough to "date" Yeah there's the renewal of vows we can do. But will we have the ability to get over our old way of thinking, and even get over how we both treated each other in the past.

I have no plans for divorce, and do not wish for it by any means. But I am asking for help or advice on where do we go from here. How exactly do I get over the feelings of it and move on from it. In a way I feel there's a small void, there's things we didn't get to do, and we can't get those moments back. How do I just let it go, and not wish just a little bit, that we get those moments.

I think we both know what we did wrong, and we both know how to change it and we're working on that, but there's still that little part of me that wants it to start over in a way. Start from scratch, and get the little things back that we never got.

If you go back to remember the summary of my life with my husband, mine was alot different from what my husband said. We have had good moments, I mean we've had great moments through out our life. But despite not having those dreams when I was younger, I still had an idea in my head, that I'd have my fairytale. My fairytale meant a wonderful wedding (not pregnant), shared with friends and family, a honeymoon that didnt last an evening, the first month as newlyweds, still wrapped up in each other. There's just so much that I really have to say, I wanted, and the last 6 years were not even close to it. So how do we start over and get those moments back? or how do I just get over it. I hate that I envy those who get the chance to do it all the right way. Because what I do have is wonderful and I do know that.

If I haven't praised my husband enough yetrf

My husband is the best! He is wonderful and I mean it seriously. This last month has been amazing and I believe it goes both ways, aside from break downs on my part (yes I'm a bit emotional). We have been working hard towards keeping ourselves on a budget. We have done so much more together in the last month, than we have done in the last 7 years. Seriously! It's been more quality time, rather than just time in the same room together, or same car together.
I believe there's still more change to come on both of our parts.
One thing I noticed, is that over the last 7 years, other than the "family" pictures, we don't really have any of us together just the two of us. I hope that will change. I look at pictures of friends with their spouses, and really it bums me, because I really don't have any of my husband and I together. Our wedding pictures, the family pictures we've done. Pictures of my husband with my boys. But very few of all of us together, or just of me and my husband.
Hey the family started with the two of us!

As i'm getting off topic on what I wanted to write about today.
yesterday I got the news i have to do the 3 hour glucose test, this happened when I was pregnant with the last one too, and I passed the three hour with no issues at all. So while it feels as if we're coming together to take care of the budget, all I'm doing is adding more to it. On top of other reasons why its just too much to do the test. I just feel its unnecessary.

But none the less, my husband is being great about it all. He could have gotten angry with me yesterday for being over emotional about the situation, but he wasn't.


So Yesterday afternoon I was able to read the book we're reading for the Couples Home group at our church. I read the first chapter, and let me just say while I undderstand some of it either I'm taking other parts the wrong way, or I just don't agree.
I can't wrap my head around that my husband makes the decisions, basically. I have always felt that a marriage should be equal. We go into marriage together, everything should be done together. When we can't agree upon a decision we talk it out, and we compromise if needed. I don't like the feeling of always being the one to compromise, and I will say, over the last two years, thats how I felt. I felt like my husband was never compromising with me. I felt like he didn't care about what was effecting me in the situation. that was something that really bothered me too. I have just felt that over the last 7 years I've given up alot that I need and wanted so my husband could be happy. More especially over the last two years though. This does come back down things that have happened over the last two years. And while I believe I have done very well in letting it go, being told I need to let him be the head of the household, well I can't help to feel like I'll be stepped all over again and my feelings disregarded again, and it makes me totally not agree with that he should be the head of the household. I'm probably making a mountain out of this, but its really how I feel.

So how does someone who has and wants an independent mindset allow their husband to just take over.

Great weekend, crappy week?

As of later Saturday evening, I started getting sick. The weekend went well. Lots of stuff done. The house looks great, only laundry to do,and start on our bedroom and of course theres the rest of the stuff upstairs in the "nursery" I say "nursery, because it really isnt going to be much other than a place to have clothes.
I doubt we'll get around to painting. There isn't exactly time to do so. 9 weeks left to go as of yesterday.
I just hope I can get our bedroom done and ready with the bassinet cleared out (don't ask) so there is a place to put the baby at night!

Plus I need to hang up the clothes I do have, and store the rest of the next size up for Logan.
And then of course I need to finish the bedroom my parents sleep in when they are here.

But I'm so not feeling well today. I'm tired and ready to go back to bed. Logans not having that one though. :(

Chicken and Steak Fajitas

I don't have much to say, except I need to catch up on some reading this evening.
Today is a full day, Plus I am going to send over a text ( I am only sending over a text now because its really early) inviting my husbands sister and her husband (and daughter) over for dinner this evening. We're off to church this morning, and then right on over to a birthday party, while my husband takes off to take my oldest out to a movie just the two of them! My son will be so thrilled I don't think he realizes they're going today!



Last night was a wonderful evening, aside from the fact that our date night (the end of it) was spent my husband getting his hair cut!

No biggie. It was just really nice getting to spend quality time with him. We went to dinner for his first meal off the Daniels Fast, and then had coffee and off to walmart we went.
We went there for a firewood log and a birthday gift for our middle son to give at the birthday party today, but ultimately ended up in the baby stuff and got a few outfits for the baby! I only really picked out one and let him pick out the others, he of course grabbed pink.
But i picked out the cutest girlie green and pink overalls for her. Then he decided to get his hair cut so we waited for that and then went home.

Today though, while full, will be a good day.
I think though prior, I'm going to go take a nice hot bath! My youngest woke up and of course is now in my bedroom! Yippeee.

My real meaning of a baby shower

The other day I got a phone call about having a baby shower. Now let me point out I hAven't had a real baby shower before. My thoughts of a baby shower are not to get gifts for the baby despite how nice it is to get something for your little one. But rather in my opinion it's so the mother (and father ) can feel like the people around them accept their new addition into he world And support them. You know the saying it takes a village to raise a child. Well in a sense it is true. At some point didn't each childs life someone else will be there watching your child or teaching them. School is the biggest example however those who homeschool if you take your child on a field trip to pretty much anywhere someone else may do a little teaching. Out in everyday life someone may teach your child. Whn I had my baby shower when pregnant with my first child. I did not have a real shower persay. My wonderful mother and aunt Pam had thrown the shower and there was specifically only family. Not one person there that was a friend. Everyone had some blood tie to me! Pam by marriage,my sister, It was nice of them to do however it also setthe tone for how I felt about friends any longer. I had none and just like a two years before I was left alone and to fend for myself. But I had always had my family there. It was the reason I changed my way of thinking. Family became my only friends and all. This also happened to me on my wedding day. Other than Chris who was the bestman the other groomsmen didn't even bother to show up the day of my wedding. I learned the hard way that I had no friends,ultimately the only people who had been there were my family. This would be how I have led my life over the years. I stopped caring about if I had friends. What was the point.
This was a huge disPpointment in my life unforunately. I clung to my husband be because he was the only person who stuck around. For a long time I felt like the only reason was bscUse I was pregnant. Now the wedding I had Maas wonderfulbecahse o my parents ( my mom ESP) but if I ha that time in my life to do over I would have just waited. I think it could have helped us wig our marriage. Just like this whole baby shower that I had back then I appreciate all my mom does for me! She is. Wonderful mother and i am so close to her. She really has been my best friend throughout my journey of motherhood! One day I hope to repay her for all of her wisdom and hope and love she's given to me. So please do not get he impression that I'm ungreatful to all she hadls done. In fact I'm more thankful to her than ever as I would not have had a wedding if it weren't for her and very well possible I may had never had a baby shower either.
So again whn I got the phone call I couldn't help but be a little excited. Someone cared enough about me to show their support to my husband and I about having another baby. I get to be surrounded by friends for awhile gushing about the new bundle of joy we will have. I had always wanted to do a meet the baby with my prior sons but never had the friends to invite. I think after I'm up and running after she is born I'd like to have a gathering. One thing that has never happened either is I don't usually have visitors ar he hospital other than family. This last time Around I would like to have visitors if they Would like to come.
Oh and btw we are Going to have a sweet baby girl soon! It's getting really close! I still need to put clothes that I do have away! And maybe we should paint the nursery! I think I will talk to my husband today! We never really did the decorAting for the last two but did somewhat for my first. Maybe it's time we do it this last time Around! Who has some girlie theme ideas!

send me your girlie nursery ideas! We don't have a crib In there right now because logan is using it until he is ready for a big boy bed!

Oh and If they still read this I want to say thAnkyou. It means the world to me that you all care about me! An thankyou my wonderful husband I love you so much! Now wake up and let's get Saturday started! H

It's 4am. And I'm already up why?

Yesterday was not horrible by any means theonly thing thatbothered me was that we had rescheduled the meeting I had with the pastor as the storm in our area was getting worse. I hate driving when the rainis really heavy. I asked about rescheduling about 2 in half hours prior to the meeting time and honestly I felt that wasn't much of a notice for him. I felt bad about it. My husband kind of made me feel even more so that he was disappointed in me for not going. The rain did let up by 7 but it picked back up by 8. I just didn't like how he made me feel I needed to explain it to him and everyone else. I also don't like people being disappointed in me. I'm not ma at him and we did talk about it last night. I kind of hope that today school gets canceled as it's supposed to drop in temp and possibly snow. This way the boys and I can sit on the couch and curl up wiu blankets and books and games and just have one of those days! However I know today Jordan is supposed to have his big test soi don't want him to miss that either. I doubt s hool willbe canceled though. I would like to sit down and read today too it's hard to sit down and do much whn you leave midway through the day to go get one kid get home make lunch attempt naps and then your off to get thenext one. As much as iwasnt ready at he beginning of th year for my sweet 3 year old to go to school more than the half a day I'm ready now! Next school year he will be there all day. An thTs just around the corner! Along with April! Yesterday was my last every month appt! I now will go every two weeks. We are gettting close and well not much is ready. Hoping I can get back to work and finish up things. I haven't even figured out her coming home outfit yet! I know I wa going to incorporate a part of logans coming home outfit into hers but I haven't even begun to get that ready. In feb there is a consignment expo that I will probably go to to get the last little thngs we will need. More than anything though we need to get a freezer for the garage. I know it will come together. Ijust feel blocked that I'm not finished yet. Two rooms upstairs to be doneand then my room needs to be ready as well. I have to clear things out ESP the bassinet get a craft area ready so maybe I can attempt to find the bobbin cover for my moms machine and then I can finally make some girlie something for the bassinet and other things headbands and bows. I really need to get some more girlie fabric though. I have a little of the dress fabric that I plan to turn into some little summe dresses for her an then they can be shirts. I also have this thing where I'm torn. I want her to be able to wear ute things however I have issues with some things parents put on their little ones when sadly there are people out there that aren't looking at them like awww what a cute little baby girl etc. So it's a matter of keeping her covered just as you would yourself. But then I'm not sure if that rules out the spaghetti strapped dresses etc. This is something my husband and I do really need to discuss. It's still very unreal to me that I'm having a girl. I know it's a nerves thing I mean after three boys will we know how to raise a girl. And then seriously I'm the furthest thing from girlie. My husband wears more jewelry than I do. If men wore makeuphe probably would wear more than me too. He is more o a girl than I am. I can only guess at what to do. My poor daughter!

It feels like I should just sleep all day today

It's obvious I can't do that. But for some reason I feel like I should just stay in bed all day maybe even all week and all week next week. Tomorrow is my next drs appt I'm dreading the appt with two kids getting blood drawn and the fact that I have to pretty much go all morning without eating since my appt is at 12:15. I'm really ready to not be pregnant. My 6 year old had a wonderful day yesterday. I am so proud of him. He did well (passed it) the first testing phase for th gifted program. Apparently only three of the students made I passed that phase and my big man was one of them. He also got on the highest color purple for his bhavior in class. Then he came home and he did His homework and pretty much spelled the word nothing on his own. I only guided him in the direction of how, he already knew bow to make up his own sentence using the site word on the homework. Yesterdays happened to be all and hIs sentence was, we all have nothing. Not perfect by he is only in kinder. Either way he tried he did it a d I'm very proud of him. Things have been ok with my husband and I. I think we are on week 3 of not fighting. I am still exhausted though. There is still alot on my mind but that's probably because I'm still that worst case scenerios person. I don't think I will really change though.It also looks as if we need to invest in a new laptop. I think my computer is finally on it's last leg! Oh well next year cause this year there is just too much going on to even think of a new laptop. Taxes weren't as awesome as we had hoped oh well at least the one thing we really really need we will be able to afford getting sometime before the baby comes. We really need an upright freezer for the garage so I can pump milk and store it plus when I start making the baby food and then 4 kids we have got to start buying food in bulk. Today I get a costco card! I'm excited. This will help out with buying in bulk. Now only to get the really nice foodsaver for freezing the foods. My old one doesn't work very well. We also need to replace our couch. Just something that's notripped. I don't have a current working sewing machine ao I can't do much In that area right now. One day though I will have a new embroidery machine that works awesome. Plus a yudu screenprinting machine! A good friend from highschool who is pregnant with me has inspired me that one of these days I will open my own little business from home! She does website design (not sure if she reads this though but I think she's awesome) and today she added on another client! That is so awesome! I want to work out of my home and actually have some kind of steady income. This way I feel as if I'm contributing but I do t have to give up my kids not having me home during the day. One day one day!

Working hard, and hardly working

Does anyone know the reason why someone who just may not believe, or in a sense, they do believe in God, but they just don't go to church but yet it seems like everything bad happens to them, never anything really great? But yet those who do attend church, call themselves Christians but towards others, are some of the worst people ever?

My husband and I had this conversation last night.
I totally understand what he's saying, however, I don't think its very fair. I'm not referring to me by any means. We've had good and bad things happen to us over our lifetime so far. Sometimes it seems like the bad outweigh the good, but in reality, I am really learning to be grateful for all that I have because I have so much. I've got three wonderful crazy fun sons and one more little one on the way. When I was younger, I had never even thought about kids for the most part. When my husband and I married, we both never talked about our life with more than two kids in it period. We will have four in 2010. My kids are one of the easiest ways to make me smile. Seeing their little smiles. Even Jordan, my charming 6 year old. He amazes me, and I two nights ago I hit rock bottom again because of him. I realized that I really need to work on being a much better mom to my kids. They deserve so much better.

So I am going to try my hardest to do better as a parent, as a daughter, and as a wife and even a friend.

It's been a long night

I have alot on my mind throughout the night. Aside from the lovely pregnancy uncomfortableness I have also done alot of thinking. It is time for me to really be forgiven for my mistAkes as my husband has already said. The problem was some of the smaller mistakes I held on as anger towards my husband when in reality it was myown fault. I felt as if I couldn't talk to him either. So early this morning I got up And I prayed I actually really spoke out loud rather than whispering under my breath and I asked for forgiveness along with the strength to bring it all up with my husband this morning. I haven't brought it up as of yet but do plan to when it's time to get up. I need the weight lifted and I can't do this one alone. I need him for this one. I also need to pray over my sweet 6 year old today. I have helped bring him so much tension and hurt that I feel I have failed him. He had a rough night again with him talking in his sleep. I wanted to hug him and just tell him everything will be ok. Which I am holding faith that my husband and I can make it all ok for him.I am coming to realize it won't be just the two of us who does this we need God now.

Back to Yesterday

I realize today is a new day. I'm not expecting much today. More than likely today will be cleaning day. Yesterday was a horrible way to end the week and start the weekend. Even though nothing majorly bad happened, it just seemed as if every little small detail of everything, just went wrong. It was really annoying and tiring, and it just didn't help my stress level at all.

I need to get over yesterday and start with today.
Which I'm going to try, I can't promise anything at all.

There really isn't much to say this afternoon. I'm sitting outside (well sort of) while all of my boys, even the little GO GO munchkin (my 1 year old) plays outside with his brothers. Nothing good has really happened today, in fact, I'd have to say more bad little things have gone wrong than anything else. But I'm still determined to not give up!

So this is what it means when it can get worse

I'm really fighting it this morning.

But I'm not going to let it get to me. I'm not going to let it tear me down. One thing that I did understand when I spoke with Pastor, was that it was going to get worse before it got better. Well if the devil is doing his work at this point, I am standing up to it, and determined that I will have a good day. It won't be the best day, but I will get through it, and I'm going to keep praying that everything gets better.

A tough start to the morning

Another tough start this morning, last night was ok. After we put the boys to bed, we watched about 30 minutes of tv and then I got up and went on to bed and read a little before falling asleep. I finished reading chapter 2 in The Power of a Praying wife. And actually found that it applied to this week. The chapter was titled "His work". I will be honest, I may not have encouraged him as much as I should have over the years, but I did try at least I felt I did. But I will admit that I hadn't prayed, although last week, I did because last week was when he had his meeting in the first place. Now we're just waiting on the actual results and we're hoping to find out tomorrow.
I also read some of my bible, and I still can't say that it doesn't feel much more than a story to me. An interesting story. I know the conclusion I had come to, was that I needed to read it and then just decide to believe it. Well I have already made the decision to believe it. I'm working on it. I've also prayed about it.

So yesterday I got quite a bit done, well sort of. I got the Christmas tree and christmas decor taken down and put in the attic. I also cleaned up some downstairs. I made a pretty decent veggie soup last night for dinner which the boys didn't care for of course. Logan liked it though. Today I will be working on getting the older boys bunk beds put back together so I can move the crib into the bedroom for Logan. He will sleep in there tonight. Tomorrow I have plans of cleaning up my bedroom. It's going to be kind of crappy in the nursery with no crib, but we really won't need the crib to start anyway with the newbie. Since she will sleep in our room in the bassinet. If we're lucky this one won't learn how to pull up at an early age like the oldest two boys did. Logan slept in the bassinet till he was I think about 6 months old. Then we moved him to the playpen in our bedroom, and now, he has to move out of our room. With just over two months left, I have to say, it is fast approaching. As much as I'm ready, I'm also not ready. But we're working on it.

All in all, the weekend was really good. The last couple of days have been a little bit of a struggle though. I'm working on it.

The week will be good though, hoping for an exceptional day tomorrow for all of us!