Thursday, August 21, 2008

How do you teach

So its been a rather interesting day,well actually not so much as interesting as long.
My mother and sister sent us a package that we recieved today. This package has been the hype all week for my son, because they mention things in it when they talk to him on the phone. Everyone loves stuff right? Yes, just as usual, my mother sends him, and KonnorBear, a gift, in which they wrapped up.
Almost immediately upon picking it up out of the box Jordan began to open it. No big deal, except he wasnt positive that was even his, so I stopped him midway, he still ended up going ahead and opening it. It ended up being a power ranger toy, blue ranger to be exact. He quickly ran it to his brother, believing this one is for his little brother.
Well, no, the other package had Konnors name written on it. I waited for Konnor to come down and gave the package to Konnor to open, and of course, Jordan was angry. I told him that he didnt even know if it was a power ranger toy, he was still upset with me.

It turned out to not be a power ranger toy, and so Jordan finally realized that the blue ranger was the toy he recieved as a gift from his grandparents.

At this point I made sure that they did not hear this whining from my son.
And had my children (and yes both of them) call them to thank them for the great school supplies and school clothes and the toys they recieved.

Of course a little later after we had talked to them and thanked them for the great stuff, both boys played a bit with their toys, and then my oldest (jordan) came to me and asked me to call his grandmother.

This was the conversation he started having with her.

" I didnt want the blue ranger, I wanted the other color ranger" in his whining soft muddled 4 year old voice.
"what did you want" grandma says back.
"I didnt want the blue power ranger" Jordan muddles out again.
"What did you want then?" grandma asks again.
"The green ranger" grandma says
"the red ranger" she adds in.
"yes the red ranger" Jordan says a little louder this time.

At this point I have broken into the conversation and I am taking the phone away from my son and sending him to the stairs (time out for us) and I proceed to tell my mother I am sorry that he was acting like a spoiled brat.
My husband and I are not raising him that way and I really have no idea why it still happens. I knew some of it was the age he's at, but I know that its not all just that.

So after that I went to speak with him, just talking with him didnt make him understand (although cry of course) even though no loud words were used and no mean words were used either, (it was just the thought of never recieving a toy again in his life that hurt)
So I finally, I decided to provide an example. My example was that of him picking me flowers and giving me a flower which he does occasionally. So we headed outside to the front yard where I asked him to get me a flower. He picked me out a flower and gave it to me and I said no I want a red one. He didnt quite get it, but went back to get me a red flower.
brought me back a red one and I said no I want a blue flower, at this point, he started to cry. (My example was over) and I asked him to come to me.

I asked him if I hurt his feelings. And then asked if he thought what he said hurt his grandmas feelings.
It took a minute of explaining more, but then he asked to go call his grandmother.

Then he STILL didnt learn the lesson as he was speaking to my sister.
He tells her that he doesnt want anymore toys or need anymore toys (this would have come from me trying to explain the difference between needs and wants).

So I had to take a moment and explain once again.

This time, I think he finally got it. and He apologized to my "mom" (who wouldnt be available to speak to him so my sister pretended to be her)
and I think he really did understand this time around.

Lets hope.

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