Old habits die hard!

Life is getting back to a sense of normalcy. Having for children has changed it especially when it comes to how tired I am and how quickly that it comes out. Life was doing ok while I was pregnant well as ok as it could be with all of my complaining about still being pregnant. Four kids is alot. But really life is only as easy as your kids make it for you. Right now my two oldest sons are in a phase. Not the leave me alone I'm goingto be in my room listening to depressing music or talking on the phone with a girl I like. Believe me I welcome those phases at this point. Instead at the ripe youngag of 6 in a half my oldest son is telling us he wants to be adopted by someone else. This was something my son who I really feel is to old for his actual age, has said things like this since he was two! Yes I specifically rmember one day when we were visiting my parents he told me in the car by walgreens on the corner of southside blvd and Atlantic that he wanted new parents! Ugh! He didn't even have a brother at this age! I don't even think I was pregnant with my second son yet. It's really hard to get through to him. He also hates going to school and he is in kindergarten. Isn't there something wrong with that one!?

And then we have the second oldest, he is in that phase where he is whining, and lying when he does things like pooping in his pants on accident. Plus he tells us his brother bit him but he didn't. Life is just easy peasy! We won't get into the last two who still need mommy constantly.
And then there's me. I feel like everything is rushing back. I am starting to think about the past all over again. I feel like I'm redoing alot of those things. And no matter how hard I try to break away from thr same old habits. They creep right back in. I feel like I keep shutting down and there isn't anyone to talk to. I've had a hard time explaining how I've been feeling to my husband. Overall I feel exhausted again. I would like to blame it on post partum depression but I don't think it's that. I think it's just old habits coming back. I mean seriously could I have been having post partum depression for the last ten years? I am even having trouble explaining my feelings on Here. I know some of it has to be from the fact that I have four little ones to start but I have always been proud of how icould handle my children. And now I doubt myself as a mom sometimes. I don't believe I'm super woman but I always believed that my strength to keep them all safe and sound came from my love for them. I don't love them any less than I ever had before. In fact I think it's the opposite that I added another little one to love and protect with everything I have.

I also have this hope of my family moving closer to us. I miss having them around. I miss having someone to go to the mall with even if I don't buy clothes. I miss having my mom around to talk to. To talk about my dreams with. I haven't even thought about my" dreams"

What are you doing this summer?

For us, we don't have anything planned just yet. I'm looking into things to take the boys to, and of course my little girl will be tagging along for the fun ride. We missed all the sports sign ups for the oldest two, and so I think it would be a great idea to post these camps as they're still accepting registration for the camps.
Now this is copied word for word, as I don't personally have any experience with these camps so I can't give any personal insight on it. I think the CampAsia sounds awesome. I would love for my oldest son to learn about Asian culture, and the cuisine would be great for him, he LOVES Chinese food. But I am a quarter Japanese, so that could have something to do with it.
if you never met children who eat Sushi, you must come to our house when we have it. My husband and I specifically hide getting Sushi from our kids just so we don't have to share every single time. Too bad they can smell it from a mile away it seems. So don't forget to get ready for the summer keeping busy. I know if I don't plan something, mine will want to watch tv all day!


The Crow Collection of Asian Art presents

CAMPASIA: SUMMER CAMP FOR KIDS
Discover the arts of Asia this summer at the Crow Collection! Learn about yoga, performance, cuisine and culture across China, India and Japan; grab a sleeping bag for the first-ever Saturday night sleepover

Weekday Camps in June and July plus NEW CampAsia Overnight in July

REGISTRATION ENDS TUESDAY, JUNE 1!
To register, please contact education@crowcollection.org or call 214-979-6435.

The Crow Collection of Asian Art
2010 Flora Street, Dallas, TX 75201

Yogiños: Yoga for Youth (ages 6-12)
Monday, June 7 – Friday, June 11 (9 a.m. – 4 p.m.)
Yogiños: Yoga for Youth is an “OHMazing” trilingual yoga camp facilitated in English, Spanish and Sanskrit that uses music, games, stories and sensory-integrated activities to align minds, bodies and hearts on and off the yoga mat. Join Elizabeth Reese, founder of Yogiños, to discover the history and practice of yoga throughout Asia. Learn fun yoga moves, create recipes for healthy snacks, and make yoga-inspired works of art.

Dancing with Dragons: Performance Across Asia (ages 8-10)
Monday, June 21 – Friday, June 25 (9 a.m. – 4 p.m.)
From Kabuki to Bollywood to Lion Dances, move to the tune of Asian beats and work with professional Asian musicians and performers. Learn about Asian dance, theater and musical performances while creating costumes and participating in live performances.

NEW! CampAsia Overnight: Spend the Night at the Crow (ages 6-12)
Saturday, July 10 (5 p.m. – 8 a.m.)
Little adventurers and their favorite adult can spend the night at the Crow Collection of Asian Art! Enjoy a sleepover in the Museum’s galleries featuring flashlight tours, storytelling, art activities, Asian games and much more.

Cooking for Kids: Foods of Asia (ages 6-8)
Monday, July 19 – Friday, July 23 (9 a.m. – 4 p.m.)
Little chefs will delight in making delicious dumplings and candy sushi! Learn to cook fun Asian treats with area chefs, and discover the traditions involved with each Asian delicacy. Create a recipe book, and enjoy a special parents’ lunch and tea ceremony.

Celebrate Asian Heritage: Families with Children from China (ages 6-12)
Monday, July 26 – Friday, July 30 (9 a.m. – 4 p.m.)
Celebrate the rich culture, traditions and arts of China through performances, cuisine and games. Make dragon boats, learn how to perform a dragon dance, and create a beautiful family scrapbook to share with loved ones.

CampAsia registration ends Tuesday, June 1. Cost is $300 per weekly camp for Friends of the Crow Collection and $350 for non-members. CampAsia Overnight is $125 per child for members and $150 per child for non-members. All camp fees include cost of supplies and snacks. Payment is due in full upon registration. No refunds.

To register and for more details, please contact education@crowcollection.org or call 214-979-6435.

Is having three really the same as having four?

My answer?

No, however it might be because I have three very energetic boys, and one sleepyheaded newbie. My toddler is very much in the "toddling" stage. Everything is his space, and anything is game for him. He hasn't understood my words "No, Danger" and laughs when I say it. The reaction is getting tiresome. How do you stop it, I know with other things its always don't give them the reaction and they will stop. Well, how on earth do you not give your 17 month old toddler a reaction to when they are about to jump off the playground equipment. And how do you keep him from doing this without losing your newborn in the process.
I can't possibly lose my little ones. I could carry her, but she's not quite fitting well into my carriers, so I've only used it once, she just wasn't comfortable in it, which I think has alot to do with how little she still is.

I couldn't push a stroller over to the spot where he was, so putting her in the stroller isn't an option. I'm at a loss for what to do with my active little man.

Other than that, my oldest son doing very well. This month he's had all greens and one purple at school. Next we have KB, who isn't doing so great. He's in that stage where he wants what he wants and if he doesnt get it, he wont listen or do what I tell him to do. Because of this, its turning into an issue with him possibly getting hurt or lost. Especially when we're out and about. It's hard to keep up with four kids, and mine have a tendency to get very stubborn, (and yes I know it comes from my husband lol, ok ok, and me) but nothing really works for KB, talking to him like a big kid, spankings,timeouts, nothing! It just doesn't work.

So anyone have any tips for how to make our kids listen. And as I've said before, whoever said three is the same as having four really did not have my kids!


On another note, I will have a blog review on the Quinny Zapp stroller, so stay tuned!

What is the ideal wife

Is she smart? Is she pretty? Is she opinionated? Will she argue when it's something she is passionate about? Or is it someone who would just sit by and let others make all the choices and decisions for her?

There was a time I believe that last statement was true. I don't agree that we live in that time anymore. Although I believe deep down men would like it to be that way.

Please don't judge

If I can be a story for anyone I hope it's the story of why you do not judge people. I am 26 years old and yes I have four kids. My first was born when I was 20 my second was born almost three years later. My third was born two in half years after him. I felt I was done at this point. After 3 csections that had no complications I wasn't exactly on board with chancing a fourth csection. Not to mention there were other things going on in my life. I felt three boys were all I would have! Maybe later when they were old enough I might be able to adopt, but that was a slim chance as well. I have been married to my husband for nearly 7 years. Our marriage is much better than it has ever been in those 6 years, but it didn't get better until about 4 in half months ago. In fact it was really bad just after I had my third son which was in dec 2008. Emotionally, everything was a huge mess. I really resented my life, the only things that were keeping me going were my three kids. But I was a total wreck! My husband and were fighting day in and day out. Throughout the years we had had several bit blowouts which always seemed to appear just after we had on of ours. Things always got better for the duration of the pregnancy but it always seemed it would get worse just after and of to add it would be a bigger blowout than the last big blow out. And after having my third it that's exactly where my head was. We had our biggest fight in feb just two months after he was born. And it hadn't really calmed down unless you count the events that happened and took focus away from our fighting but really it was still there. Then I found out I was pregnant. My third was just 7 months old sti very much my baby. The day I found out I cried. I freaked out and I felt like the worst mom ever! I had a positive pregnancy test and I hoped it was a false positive. I really felt like it was a bad joke. I was not in a position to have a fourth child, but there was no other choice if I was pregnant then I was having another baby. Then I had the thoughts about what was going to happen to my husband and I. Our fighting would become less I was sure during the pregnancy but it would pick back up after. Then there was if we just went ahead and divorced. I was alone and felt like I might lose my other kids too since I wouldn't be able to work ( nobody seems to hire pregnant ladies not to me tip. I hadn't worked in 5 years nobody was going to hire me because of when my last job was) so I will admit I did not want to be pregnant. I would cry about it I was so lost at the time. The pregnancy was overall very hard. Emotionally, and physically. I complained alot during my pregnancy. I think the only reason why my husband didn't lock me into a room when he was home was because I think he knew how hard it was for me. I know there Are women who can't have a baby, and I am really sorry if those had heard my complaints, but before you stop and judge someone who is pregnant, and complaining, walk away if it bothers you, because ultimately you have absoultely no idea what has happened to that person on why It is so hard for them.

I love my daughter she is a wonderful gift from my husband and I as my sister says my grandmothers last gift. She passed away two days before I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. We have completed our family now despite what we thought. I feel lucky to have my little girl and there is a big part of me that feels really horrible for how I felt during my prEgnancy and so in reality I don't need anyone to make comments about how much I complained during my pregnancy.

So please before you comment stop and think because what I have written in this blog doesn't even hit half of the things that happenEd during the last 8 years of my life.

Feeling like a failure for a mom.

I am having a little bit of a hard time coping with the fact that I am supplementing my daughter. Just over 16 months ago I had my third son. The pregnancy was uneventful for the most part and his birth and my recovery was fine. He started nursing just after I was rolled into recovery and from then on latch and everything was perfect my milk was in quickly and although he ate often he would get satisfied with what I was making ( even though I felt like it wasn't enough at first). While I was pregnant with him and believing he was my last baby I was determined that I was breastfeed him for a year at least. I tried pumping with him to increase my milk supply and it never went well even with a brand new pump. 7 months after I had him on August 14 th 2009 I found out I was pregnant again. I had no plans of weaning my youngest son until the dr I was seeing kept pushng that I really needed to wean him because it was too much stress on my body. I gave my dream up of making it to a year. Two months after he was fully weaned. When maiya was born she was 9 lbs and had low blood sugar. Just like Konnor did. I nursed her for a good bit and they checked her sugar and what I had was not enough to help her. I went ahead and agreed to formula from the start. So far she has had one bottle each day and I'm not sure if me breastfeeding is doing anything for her because she still hasn't gained her birth weight back. I'm just a little sad that That I had the chance to reach a year finally and didn't and now it looks like I won't really make it to. 1 month. I'm just not making much in the way of milk. I started the lactation helping pills ( I don't remember the name of them ) but so far they aren't doing much. Not to mention I have a little trouble swallowing pills so taking them is hard enough. I have increased my water intake nothing. So here I am laying next to my daughter which I have nursed off and on for the last two hours until I finally gave in and made a bottle. She took nearly 3 oz this time which is more than what she usually is taking but she's fast asleep next to me. Well at least she's stopped fussin at me.