Tuesday, February 2, 2010

If I haven't praised my husband enough yetrf

My husband is the best! He is wonderful and I mean it seriously. This last month has been amazing and I believe it goes both ways, aside from break downs on my part (yes I'm a bit emotional). We have been working hard towards keeping ourselves on a budget. We have done so much more together in the last month, than we have done in the last 7 years. Seriously! It's been more quality time, rather than just time in the same room together, or same car together.
I believe there's still more change to come on both of our parts.
One thing I noticed, is that over the last 7 years, other than the "family" pictures, we don't really have any of us together just the two of us. I hope that will change. I look at pictures of friends with their spouses, and really it bums me, because I really don't have any of my husband and I together. Our wedding pictures, the family pictures we've done. Pictures of my husband with my boys. But very few of all of us together, or just of me and my husband.
Hey the family started with the two of us!

As i'm getting off topic on what I wanted to write about today.
yesterday I got the news i have to do the 3 hour glucose test, this happened when I was pregnant with the last one too, and I passed the three hour with no issues at all. So while it feels as if we're coming together to take care of the budget, all I'm doing is adding more to it. On top of other reasons why its just too much to do the test. I just feel its unnecessary.

But none the less, my husband is being great about it all. He could have gotten angry with me yesterday for being over emotional about the situation, but he wasn't.

So Yesterday afternoon I was able to read the book we're reading for the Couples Home group at our church. I read the first chapter, and let me just say while I undderstand some of it either I'm taking other parts the wrong way, or I just don't agree.
I can't wrap my head around that my husband makes the decisions, basically. I have always felt that a marriage should be equal. We go into marriage together, everything should be done together. When we can't agree upon a decision we talk it out, and we compromise if needed. I don't like the feeling of always being the one to compromise, and I will say, over the last two years, thats how I felt. I felt like my husband was never compromising with me. I felt like he didn't care about what was effecting me in the situation. that was something that really bothered me too. I have just felt that over the last 7 years I've given up alot that I need and wanted so my husband could be happy. More especially over the last two years though. This does come back down things that have happened over the last two years. And while I believe I have done very well in letting it go, being told I need to let him be the head of the household, well I can't help to feel like I'll be stepped all over again and my feelings disregarded again, and it makes me totally not agree with that he should be the head of the household. I'm probably making a mountain out of this, but its really how I feel.

So how does someone who has and wants an independent mindset allow their husband to just take over.

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