Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Don't you want just one more!

I am so tired of hearing it, mainly because YES! I want another baby. I just don't want to be pregnant again/have a 4th c-section, and sadly my husband refuses to do the whole surrogate mother thing.
I have had to attempt to come to terms with this whole idea that I am not having anymore babies in my house. As much as I'd like to say adoption could be in the cards. It's not and I have to be realistic, it's cheaper to have a baby than it is to adopt a child.

Now please don't get me wrong, I would adopt in a heartbeat. I'd save every last penny and make it happen if I knew my husband could love him/her unconditionally. I would have no problem doing so then as I know I could and would.
But It's not fair to my husband, and especially not fair to the child to be brought into a family where they may not feel as if they are loved unconditionally by both their mother and father. I just couldn't chance that one.

I just keep getting those feelings of our family just isn't complete yet but I am not sure where it is taking me.
My marriage needs to be better before that could happen, if it could happen. I mean we already have three right now.

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